of binging...
It's a powerful thing. Now, this may not work for every food but I realized how disgusted I am by the foods I stuff my face with. Case in point: donuts and pastries. I will never in my life find them as satisfying. I had one strawberry frosted, one vanilla frosted, one crueller, one bowtie, one and a half boston kremes, and half a cheese danish. They're just so sugary and made me feel so sickeningly disgusting and full that I don't think I can ever enjoy one again. Especially after a four day coffee fast. All of those calories and carbs and grams of fat and sugar and actual food and EWH. I want to purge again just thinking about it. Oh god, I think I have to.
...
Can't believe I actually just did that. Coffee again until Thanksgiving. Where I'll be watched like a hawk and have to like... purge outside of my window. Which is really painful to do because the pane digs into me and hurts my rib cage. What the fuck is wrong with me? Thank god only two and a half days of school this week. I can't deal with school anymore. I got three B+'s on my report card. I'm such a fucking failure. So help me god if I don't have all A's by mid marking period.
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